I must confess, okay
I lied.
I lied, okay.
about my personality
natural introvert
I was shamed into being “the quiet one.”
throwing a 12-year-old into a new world
would do that
I was shamed into quiet and shyness when
Certain words I said
were made incomprehensible
Though I spoke the same language
When my English was not American
and you could hear the African in me
Shamed into silence
because my voice was different
So I went from
being known as a talkative
a personality I had been given in Nigeria
to be known as the quiet one
Because I could not bear
to share my words,
to share my voice
With
those who would
look at me different
those who would
make fun of my voice
those who would
see the African in me
and then I could no longer fit in
Now, as a grown-up African
I call myself an introvert
Like I've always been that way,
an excuse to be quiet and not questioned
Truth is, I was made that way
From constant anxiety
that my accent would make me stand out
when all I wanted was to blend in
Growing up some more,
I now think of myself
As an extroverted introvert
because I love talking,
being around others
where my accent no longer matters
where I can make fun of my pronunciation
American or African
where my voice has been made comfortable
Though I love the quiet, too
The quiet of listening
The comfort of silence
The silence of solitude
