The day Harriet returned was the day my will go live died

The day Harriet returned was the day I cried

Then I saw Harriet, beautiful and ugly

But then I realized she would never want me cuz I am super fugly

I waited all day to ask her out

But then she told me she was just using me for clout

She was a tik tok star and only loved me for my money

So later I decided to drown myself in honey

However that’s when I saw

Judge Judy practicing law

It gave me the inspiration to go to law school

It gave me the inspiration to not drown myself in a pool

I got my degree

Shouted one two three

And jumped off a cliff

And that was the day that Harriet returned

And I’m glad she did because now I have learned

That I was not meant to be a boyfriend or a lawyer

I was just meant to die in a sewer.