Amusement For Mages

“ And please tell me how you get a code blue on the ‘happy swing’?” Jess swigs her head back, laughing hysterically. Her laugh was piercing- even for a banshee. She clears her throat before speaking again.

“ I have no clue, babe. But someone’s ogre belly don’t feel so hot, they have to hit the reject button-“

I slap her hard on the arm, groaning.

“ Do not call me ‘babe’ first of all. Second, I’m trying to eat my pop rocks and enjoy my break at the same time. Now please, shoo” I exclaim, shoving more of these sweet cavities down my throat.

Why did I agree to work at a amusement park?

The pay? The faces?

Maybe the pay, but. Only you see the weirdest things here. That you can never unsee.

For example, I was loading children off this ride called Zoomer. It goes in the air, back and forth, and does a quick 45 mph speed at the end. This kid , a human child, squatted low and twerked at me.

Twerked. At. Me.

Usually I never see a human at a mythical amusement park but still- sending a wrong message buddy.

I had another time where this kid while running a smaller rollercoster called ‘ Little Lightening’. Every now and then I have teen nymphs and all sorts of creatures ride, yet that day was different.

He looked around my age; his skin blue like the ocean. He checked me up and down, then asking “ how old are you, sugar?”

I stood there, whispering 16 under my breath. He never ran so fast out of his life.

I’m guessing he was older than he looked. Better than being a pedophile, I suppose. Such shenanigans of working at a amusement park. In the middle of July, anyways.

The question still looms, however.

“ Seriously though, Jess. How do you throw up on happy swing. It isn’t that fast.” I bring up, gathering my garbage in a small pile.

Jess appears at my side, putting her hat back on. I assume she already clocked out on this one, meaning her lunch is over.

“ Dunno, Chrissy. You know ogre’s bellies are sensitive to motion. Anyways, back to the grind. I’ll tell you if I see any strangulations my way.” She snickers as she heads outside to the busy, murky crowd.

Ah, the strangulation. Almost forgot about that. I was in Little Moblins when a small fae child ended up sitting next to a child satyr. Needless to say, things got out of hand.

The fae child was strangling the satyr, not once but twice. Using my hearing, I heard the small gasps along with the mother fae screaming “ BILLY, BILLY STOP. NO.”

Like that would help lady.

In all reality why have a amusement park for a kind like us? I’m just a lowly mage who needs money.

People flock here and give me issues. So much fun indeed.

But, that was apart of the job. Anywhere I work, really.

I look down at the timer - 4:15. I got around 10 minutes left of sanity.

I put my earbuds in, absorbing the music from my phone at attempts for some sanity restored.

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