I wish I had never let go

those childish drawings

treasure hunts, scrapbooking

the random video projects

I just felt proud I could call it mine

young me had no worries

young me smiled so wide

Then came what I wished was my happy days

Lived the rest of my life

head down, no noise, no sound

stopped trying for fear of rejection

and humiliation, embarrassment

fear gripped my present

because of those thoughtless words

Now I am just hoping time would slow down

better yet, rewind reset delete

so I could catch up, clambering

for any ambition and passion

that I let slip between my fingers

because of those thoughtless judgements

echoing both awake and asleep

Still don't know what it is I long for

I have reached adulthood with no thought

while others seemed to have a future so bright

as for me, a hazy and blurry path lays in front

My only hope is Allah, on the prayers

of times spent raising my hand

and bowing my head to the ground.

Perhaps then, I'll move on and find my purpose.