TW-SH (as always i guess)

My heart is full of scars My mind’s a battle ground

But nobody sees that

I want to cry out in pain but nothing hurts What’s wrong with me?

Nobody see’s my my heart of torn up mess Nobody knows I’m losing this war Instead they see lines Thick open red ones Thin white strokes

Each a story A story of distress When I’ve carved out my flesh Created canyons of red And rivers of blood

A reflection of my heart The battle wounds that don’t show I bring them visible A scream for help I match the scars of my heart

More of a vent I’m sorry TW SH

I don’t know why i do this Carving out chunks of my flesh Letting blood trickle down my arms The red joining the other streams Soaking into the other canyons Why do I do this

I think my heart is so broken My mind a losing battle

But nobody sees that

Instead they see each line Some open and red others a faint line

Each tells a story of a time of distress Of what others couldn’t see I bring visible

The wounds on my wrists match the wounds of my heart

TW-SH

I know the layers of skin I’ve experienced them all All exposed to the world, all exposed to what should have been hidden by the comfort of many layers but the world is cruel.

Somedays safe places are full of screams and tears Somedays blood finds itself pooling out of small valleys along my arms Out into a world it shouldn’t have to experience.

Somedays we have no way to express our pain We make ourselves our art piece Carving out of our skin Painting with red

Its not healthy I know How do I deal with the hell they call life?

I’m drowning Fighting against the raging current I’m screaming Nobody hears me They sit in their lawn chairs under colorful umbrellas and watch the waves of life Peaceful they call it

They don’t see I’m slipping I swim and I fight Yet I’m pushed farther away

I yell out each time I manage I’m ignored “Every teenager feels this way” Im running out of energy I can do this anymore I want to slip into the current And let myself sink under the waves

I’m screaming I let my mask start to slip My fake smile start to drop I let these scars lay exposed I’m crying out for help

I’m stuck in this pit Ive called out to those whi claim to care “God’s with you” paired with a heartless emoji

I’m yelling at a God who supposed to swear to never leave me Painful silence in return Love I once felt, he took back

I’m broken

I’m abandoned

I’m alone

I need help

Left alone with my mind Where these thoughts weave and strangle my brain Pulling against my hair Ripping up my wrists Pleading Begging for it to stop I’m being slowly killed by my own head

I’m drowning I’m screaming Can anyone hear me?

I wish I never had to let go of times When summer seemed to go on forever Where the the days we’re filled Running through the fields Playing dolls in the grass And building dams in the streams

The days where mud on my face grass between bare toes Dirt under my finger nails And ants cradled in my hands Was all my daily life

When a smile on my face was the default the world felt welcoming And the future was something to look forward to

The joys of life trapped in my childhood I wish I never had to let go

If one ugly pebble Taken from the beach Where it once was surrounded by others just a like it Just a little less smooth and a little less perfect If it was tossed into the sea To join the other fallen stones Would anyone really notice?

Would it even make a sound? I’m sure there’d be a plop as it hit the water Maybe a few rings would radiate from the impact But after the fact After that pebble has passed through the surface No difference would be made to that shore The same beach Minus one ugly pebble

You gave me directions to your house Which streets to walk And what to look for How to get to your house Even though we’re hundreds of miles apart

You wanted to show me your roses Your orange trees I picked as a toddler Your lemons to make lemonade

You’ve forgeten that I live across the country You’ve forget my name Soon you’ll forget yours You’ve forgotten yourself

We’re losing more of you each day Bits and pieces lost each hour We stand back and watch

With watery eyes and anxious spirits We watch as you deteriorate

I’ll never be able share with you The funny things you’ve said You’ll never remember the memories we’ve had I’ll never get the old you back

The man I once knew is dead And the reminents seem to break away Soon you’ll be nothing but a husk Of the man I once knew

It’s scary to think That those directions you gave me Soon will lead to an empty house Dead roses on the porch Unpicked oranges in the trees Rotting lemons in grass

Although much has been rubbed away The core of you seems to stand The man I once knew My uncle, who wants to show me his roses

[Repost cause it kinda fits the prompt]

My heart used to bleed My soul used to ache My head used to spin I used to break

Then came the doll maker Who promised to fix me He promised he delivered Now im regretting

Stole all my pain, my joy, my emotion Painted a face that would last forever

Heart no longer bleeds It’s all been drained It no longer loves But it no longer pains

Ripped out my soul and dumped out contents My thoughts seem to stop. I sit in the darkness

Sewed me back up with nothing inside Never again would I smile Never again would I cry

I don’t feel the pain All my emotions taken Just a doll on a shelf My soul numb and vacant

Normal The same Like the others

Then how come They seem to be Swimming laps and taking strides While I stay behind Struggling to surfaces Drowned by waves life Knocked down by each social interaction

If I’m normal Why can’t I catch up Why am I always lingering behind Fighting to keep a pace The others call normal

If I’m normal Then why do I feel so broken