Goodbye’s and Hello’s

It was a regular day, but in a regular night last time, I heard her.

First thing I did when I got to work, was getting on the scale. “You’re getting chubby,” my stylist had, “We need to get you on a better diet,”

After hair, makeup, and wardrobe, we started the shoot.

8 hours later, I got home and went to the fridge. “What do you think you’re doing Dorothy?”

“ I’m hungry, I haven’t eaten anything in hours Dad,”

“You’re getting fat. Obesity is a terrible disease in this country,”

I just closed the fridge and went to my room.

About an hour later, I heard three knocks on the wall next to my bed.

I knocked back and said “Hey, you get fat shamed, even though you’re literally 100 pounds a.k.a. on the lower end of healthy?”

“I’m sorry, I’m really trying to figure out a way to get us out of here,”

“I know, good night,”

After only 2 hours of sleep, I woke up super nauseous. I start thinking about the past couple of days and realize I’ve been eating more but also having sudden food aversions. My head has also been pounding for the last 3 days.

I had been learning Sex-Ed in school and, well… I mean, because of my unhealthy life style, I hadn’t even gotten my first period yet. That’s why my boyfriend, Carter, had insisted we didn’t need to worry. I wasn’t even really attracted to him, but he was pressuring me. I had somehow known thing might happen and had bought a test with no paper trail.

10 minutes later, I saw two lines. I felt tears fall down my face. When done, I grabbed my bag and stuffed everything I wanted in it. I knocked thrice on the wall before climbing out the window.

Once, I had taken the train all the way from Seattle to British Columbia, I started thinking about the baby and something my sister had said

“We have to wait for hope to get us out,” the only thought I had after that was ‘Hello Hope’

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