I remember as a kid Dad always joked around with me. He’d ruffle my hair and laugh that deep, kind laugh that made me want to laugh along with him.

“You’re gonna be a heartbreaker,” he’d tell me as we wrestled on the couch. Mostly it was over the remote but sometimes it was just plain out of nowhere.

I never understood what he meant, or why that was the time when he thought to tell me. But I do now, I understand everything he ever told me.

I am a heartbreaker, just not in the way I always imagined. I thought he meant I’d break a girl’s heart, and I guess I have. Maisie’s mom is dead. Her heart is shattered, and it was my fault. Except it’s a different kind of heartbreak than me dumping her at prom or whatever. It’s a heartbreak that kills me too.

I shudder as a cold wind blows around me in the dark night. We’ve been meeting up every night for almost a week. I still say it’s because I can’t sleep but really it’s because I want to see her. The moonlight always makes her blonde hair shine like a star. Which is a kind of beautiful I’ve never known before.

Dad’s leather jacket is wrapped tightly around me but the strong breeze is still seeping into it. I hate the cold, but I also hate the heat. I just hate the weather. It’s always too hot or too cold never just right.

A small laugh snaps me back into reality. Maisie smiles sweetly as she walks up. “Davian.” She grins. “Couldn’t sleep again?”

Now I’m starting to feel the heat. My cheeks are burning and boy am I glad it’s too dark for Maisie to see. “Yep.” I lie, staring at her perfect face. “What about you?”

Maisie licks her lips, shifting her weight between her feet. “Yeah,” she mumbles. “I guess something’s been keeping me from dreaming.”

She flicks her eyes to mine as the moon peaks out from behind the clouds. I can see that her cheeks are bright pink, just like mine.

“Oh,” I smile, the sides of my mouth stretching so much it hurts. “Would I happen to know what it is that’s keep you from those dreams?”

Maisie half laughs as she steps closer, gently nudging my shoulder with the palm of her hand. “It’s not an ‘it’, it’s a who.” She corrects me. “And you know it’s you.”

I just love how we can be this way with each other. I know we’re not dating or anything, but I have a feeling that we’ve always been more than friends. I don’t’ think we’ve ever _been_ friends.

I stare into Maisie’s eyes a small crescent moon reflecting off them. “Well something’s been keeping me from my dreams too.”

Maisie shrugs. “What can I say? I’m just better than any dream you could ever have.”

I know it’s a joke, but it’s true. I can’t believe I haven’t founded that out yet. I mean come on. I’ve been able to sleep just fine all of my life. Even after Mom and Dad died, although it was hard, the thing that I did was cry myself to sleep. It worked everytime. But this is different I couldn’t cry myself to sleep because there’s nothing about Maisie that makes me want to cry.

Well . . . There is something but lately I feel like I’ve been forgetting that part. I killed her mom, and that’s why I can’t keep doing this.

My heart falls in my chest as I search Maisie’s blue eyes. “Yeah,” I agree softly. “Better than anything I’ve ever dreamed.”

Maisie smiles, looking down at the sidewalk. “You too.” She looks back up her eyes filled with something I’ve never seen before. Not tears, or pain, but . . . Love . . .maybe. It makes me wonder if my eyes are sparkling like hers, even though no eyes could be as wonderful as Maisie’s. “You’re my dream too.” She whispers.

Honestly this feels like the moment where we kiss. And I want to, I want to hold Maisie and just let the world spin around us. The moon would shine like a spot light, the stars would seem to glow brighter. It would be amazing all because it would be Maisie I’d be sharing my first kiss with. And I’m not embarrassed to admit that, I don’t care if the whole world knows. Because there’s no one else I’ve ever wanted to be with.

“You’re beautiful,” I breathe as Maisie leans closer to me. Her eyes shaking as she becomes just inches away from me.

“Thank you,” she whispers. I swear that no matter how many times I hear that I’m never going to get tired of it. I love everything about Maisie.

As we get closer something seems to shift. Our eyes leave each others and instead of a kiss we just melt into each other. Maisie rests her cheek on my shoulder as I bring my hands to her back, holding her as tight as I can.

I’m not sure what changed, or why it did. But I don’t care. All I need is Maisie, I don’t need a kiss. I don’t need a perfect love story, because I know I’m never going to get that.

I have Maisie and that’s _always_ going to be enough, even if we never end up together. It’s enough.