The noise dims down, the alcohol swishes in your belly as you try to balance your scrambled vision. You use the railings to steady yourself . The music is gone now. Your thoughts return mixing with the drowsy effects of the alcohol. You drop to your knees on the wooden floor of the living room. You close your eyes with so much force that your whole face wrinkles. You bring your hands to your ears, trying to dispel the thoughts returning but it’s not auditory so it does nothing. The voices get louder, you feel the cold from the open window on your neck. You take inspired breaths to stop.. to still time. To take the hurt away. You feel your chest tighten , your eyes water, you feel trapped, you take your hand away from your head and wrap then around yourself. All it does is reminds you are alone , You drop your hands to the cold hardwood floor. You take my shirt off and lay flat on the floor. Taking in the cold as you count backwards the way you remember me doing before .... 10 9 8 7 6 4 3 ..... 2 ..