My eyes slowly pry open to find light flooding my room. I can’t think straight. I manage to gather the energy to turn my head to my left. The bloody scissors still lay by my head. I guess I’m still alive. DAMMIT. I’m such a failure that I can’t even manage to kill myself... why the hell did I put the blade through my stomach instead of my head?! The pain coming from my stomach is worse than I could ever imagine. “I JUST WANT TO DIE!!! KILL ME NOW!! PLEASE JUST TAKE ME FROM THIS WORLD!!” My thoughts explode from my head and the words hang heavily in the air before fading away, lost in a world unknown to us. My screams somehow overwhelm the searing pain. The people beside the apartment next to me would soon be rushing to check if I was ok. Oh god they have a baby! I’m going to wake up the baby!! Oh god how could I be so selfish?!

I’m going to wake up the baby and his parents and they are all going to have a bad day because of me. “IM SUCH A BAD PERSON!!! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME! I DONT DESERVE THIS WORLD!” Tears well in my eyes. The hole in my stomach doesn’t hold a candle to the hole in my heart. And with that, I manage to stand up. I must be on adrenaline. Good. That means I can get to the kitchen and the knives. One foot in front of the other. I can do it. I’m doing it! I’m in the hallway. Almost to the main room, then the kitchen. But then the high turns to low. I stop. I stumble. I fall. The floor comes at me fast. BANG. I’m dead. And now I look down at myself, my screams still heavy in the air. I won’t be a nuisance to anyone else now. The pain still lingers, but that’s ok. That’s all I wanted anyway. :)