tw, adult themes and loss.

...

Lena kept turning memories over in her head like a pillow so she could get to the cold side and finally rest.

This bedroom was no longer hers, well no longer this version of her and ghosts can't hurt. But the *what ifs and have nots* can. She dug her nails into her palm till she could feel her skin break.

A wave ran over her toes...

She couldn't be here, eyes wide Lena left the room, blood pooling in her palm and this gave her a moment of peace.

Another wave hit her, it was up to her ankles.

Lena stood at the top of the stairs, unable to see the bottom, she froze and deep crimson now dripping through her fingers onto what used to be her beige carpet.

The dull thud of the droplets, sinking into the fibres of the carpet were the only noise in the dead silence.

One more wave hit her, feeling it lapping at her waist.

Lena's cheeks were red, hot, lips trembling, tears forming and she squeezed her fist harder until she felt muscle.

She looked back at the room, heard gentle cries in the back of her head, bit her cheek, put a foot forward onto the stairs and made her way down.

A wave hit her again, her collarbone now wet.

Lena reached the bottom of the stairs, her balled bloody fist pulled close to her side, she stood and look at the kitchen entrance, in the silence another noise, the dripping of the tap into a metal sink.

Making her way over the threshold and into the kitchen she unclenched her fist, Lena gasped as blood poured onto the floor and tears stung her cheeks.

Another wave, she could taste salt on her lips...

Lena leant the wrist of the bloodied hand on the edge of the metal sink, she stared at it and she turned on the hot tap with her spare hand

Lena put her other hand under the water, waiting for it to warm up, the crimson and gore on her good hand drying.

It was hot enough, her good hand held her bad hand at the wrist, her injured palm under the stream of hot water, it stung at first and then a numbness ran through her nerves.

Lena hung her head and sighed.

The tide went back out again...

...

i love you Baby