I cant keep going on like this.

Stuck in this cycle.

The replay button is sticky.

So it plays

over and over and over and over

Until I snap

I cant do this anymore

All the pain and the fear

I cant do this anymore

the shots and the late nights

I cant do this anymore

Not being anle to breathe

Heart rate going to 150

I cant do this anymore

Always being tired and being expensive

The supplies cost so much

just to keep me alive

I know I need the insulin

Without it I would die.

I know I need the pills

To take care of my brain

At least it dosent cost to much

Just to keep me sane.

I cant keep looking in the mirror

wishing I was someone else

I cant keep lookig in the mirror

and planning how to fix my health

I cant keep looking in the mirror

and hating my body and face

I cant keep looking in the mirror

Just to greet the thoughts

for another day

I want it to go away

The pain and the stiffness

I want it to go away

And i want to be a teenager

I want it to go away

The doctors appointments and neverending research

I want it to go away

The tears and the heartache

I want to stop

Being tied to the teathers of medical equipment

I want to stop

feeing bad when I eat “to much”

I want to stop

being sick and needy

I want to stop being a burden

Is that such a problem?

I am sick

of the drugs and the medicine

I am sick

of appointments

I want to stop

Being exhausted if i dont wake up after 9

I want to stop

saying sorry for everything

I want to stop

being sad

but that never will

happen

I want you to understand

I am not ok

I want you to understand

Its not in my head

I want you to understand

I need a break

I want you to understand

Than even if you dont understand

I will push on

And it will be ok