"Ok, look, you guys seem to be really nice people, but if you could just let me go, that would be great."

Both men look at me. The taller one snears while the shorter one just looks confused. "Yeah, we don't plan on doing that," the taller one says.

I roll my eyes. "Well it was worth a shot." I look around the room, trying to find another topic. "Hey, do you think I could get your names so I don't have to just keep calling you guys 'taller dude' and 'shorter dude in my inner monologue?" I ask with a smile.

"Well," the shorter one says, eager to share his knowledge, "I'm-"

The taller one elbows him. "Don't tell her our names. We wear masks so she cant see our faces. What makes you think that we can tell her our names?"

"Well I just thought-"

"It ain't your job to think. That's my job."

"As cute as this is," I say, trying to stop whatever this is, "I don't really need an answer. I'll just call you-" I look at the taller one- "Jeff, and you-" I look at the shorter one- "Tom."

"Why do I have to be Tom?" Tom asks.

I consider that. "Well, do don't HAVE to be Tom. You could be... Terry."

He winces. "That's even worse, though."

"And why Jeff? Out of all the names in the world, why am I Jeff?"

I shrug at Jeff. "Ya just seem like a Jeff."

"I want somethin' refined. Fancy," he says in a very unrefined, unfancy southern accent.

"Ok... How about Clarence."

Jeff considers it. "Yeah. I like Clarence. It sounds refined enough."

"I want a fancy name too!" the man, previously known as Tom said.

"Ok... How about Richard," I suggest.

"Ooh! Richard is nice. That's definitely fancy enough."

"Ok then. Clarence and Richard. May I ask, why have you kidnapped me this fine evening?"

They look around this dim, dark room and then look back to me, tied up in a chair. "Oh right," Richard says. He looks at Clarence. "We did do that, didn't we?"

"Bah!" Clarence says, waving off Richard. "You idiot. How could you forget that?"

"Well, I wuz havin' so much fun with the name choosin' that I forgot," Richard says.

Clarence sighs and facepalms. "You just- I can't even- you know what?" He says, looking at his friend. "Just go sit in the corner."

"But I don't wanna sit inna corner," Clarence complains.

I roll my eyes. What kind of kidnappers are these guys?

"Whatever! Just shut up," Clarence says.

"I can do that," Richard says with a satisfied smile.

"Anyway," Clarence says, turning to me. "We cannot tell you. We are under a contract."

"Someone paid you to kidnap me?" I ask, my eyebrows shooting up.

"No no no! Of course not!" Clarence tells me hurriedly.

"Yeah! We're technically fulfillin' a debt," Richard says proudly.

"I thought I told you to shut up, Michael!" Clarence shouts.

"You're name is Michael?" I ask.

Clarence freezes. He curses under his breath. Very colorfully, might I add. "You know, that is pretty fancy on its own," I tell Michael. "You really don't need a fancier name."

"Awe!" He says with a smile. "Thanks!"

"Don't thank the prisoner," Clarence scolds.

"Sorry, Mason," Michael says, looking down in shame.

"Dude! Shut up!" He shouts.

I grin. "Michael and Mason, huh?" I ask. "Oh. We're gonna have fun."