April 22, 2023-Day 45 on Hospice , she was given 3 months

Right in the middle of med time

I said I’m just gonna jump right in and give you a hug while I can

That was the warmest hug and embrace I think I ever remember having. She gave hugs but to me it felt awkward.

She pulled me closer with what strength she has left and squeezed me, gave me a smooch on my forehead and said she loves me. I can’t remember the last time she hugged me like that.

That hug had a flood of emotions and thoughts

You won’t see me get married even though I said I wouldn’t. You were right, he’s my person.

You won’t be here to see the kids grow.

The tears wouldn’t stop.

But why did my gut feel like it was the last time I get one of mamas hugs.

Fuck Cancer!