“be careful out there”. those were the last words my momma said to me. those words replay in my mind over and over. i’m lying in a hospital bed on anti-depressants. i was diagnosed with depression a month ago. it makes my mind go blank and cold. i feel empty without him. him. he’s the reason i feel this way. it’s his fault! he ripped everything away from me and im left alone without a heart to keep me going. i have no motivation to do antything. he ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it it and then shoved it back in my chest. my heart never fully healed but i know it wont. i’m stuck like this. trapped and helpless and alone. i want to let go but i can’t. you can’t just let go of life it’s not how it works. no matter how much he hurt me i can’t escape. i miss his hugs. where he would just hold me and never let go. we could just walk and talk and feel comfortable with each other. the way we could call all night and never have a silent moment. or i could fall asleep on a call and he wouldn’t hang up. i never knew why he wouldn’t hang up but i miss it. i miss the sound of his voice. i miss his laugh. i miss his hugs. i miss his eyes. i miss him. i want him back so bad but he’s just a want. not a need. right? if he was just a want than why do i feel this way. i can’t go on without him. he was a part of me. i never understood how he could just leave me like that. i never could understand how he could be happy with anyone else. but obviously he can. all i can hear is my mommas voice echoing in my head,” be careful out there.” i began to sob, tears flooding down my cheeks,” im sorry momma, im so sorry.”

this one isn’t about the grammar or anything so i don’t rlly wanna hear feedback about grammar or punctuation or smth, thanks :)