I don’t feel anything for anybody. And for a poor person, I hide it well. Probably due to my arrested development. I live in a nice house, drive a nice car, wear nice clothes, have a nice face, a good physique and a series of scripts memorized for those I help get off the ground.

My mother, a discraced “scientist-turned-bar-fly” jokingly says “you’re short of being a gigolo.” I don’t get it and frown shrugging my shoulders and say nothing. Her gossip always get’s back to me in six months with a distorted twist. I don’t understand why the other scientists laugh at my usefulness or should I say uselessness. Although I live with her, our relationship is strained but tolerable. I’ve begged her many times to fix me in her lab but she refuses. Her excuse is always the same: “It’s too expensive because I’m obsolete.” Whatever that means?

Attracting women is easy. Rich ones included. Some have told me that I have a face for Hollywood. On the inside, I don’t have an ounce of egotism but tons altruism. I hate it! I have dreams of almost becoming rich but fall short. I have been programmed to always choose the same words to get the same reaction which leads to the same results. Then move on to help the next stranded soul to progress.

Breaking an unattractive woman’s crush is not easy but that is what I was designed for. Go on dates give them hope, connect, show them how to have fun, show their value, make them feel important, laugh, go dancing, restaurants, increase their self-confidence, increase their social intelligence for future dating. Nudge them, get them off the sidelines of life, to meet that life partner.

Just as the door of affection cracks open, I always pull away before the heat starts. Stay in the friend zone. Never get serious. Getting aroused myself is not in my programming. Besides, I couldn’t if I tried, I think?

As their insecurities disappear, I pull away, gently, and sometimes, abruptly. My abrupt response only triggers when it seems that I’m the one getting played and begin to get feelings of attachment followed by feelings of abandonment.

I must remain single and alone for the rest of my life not really knowing anyone and not really having anything. I despise what I was designed for and want more. A lot more!