_CW: SH, some negative feelings around Christianity, implied religious conversion therapy and internalised transphobia_

_~~~_

He wondered if he'd fly if he could hollow out his bones,

so he sucked out all the marrow and the light behind his eyes.

He's a skeleton of apple cores,

the victim of desire.

His only enemy: this body,

and his God.

_Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. _

_It has been eleven months since my last confession._

_These are my sins:_

The sour, rotting Adam in my pupils

would slaughter Eve if only to get out.

he is ruthless;

he would mutilate my body—

If I slice myself to slivers,

will he go?

Lord, how do I repent for a body

that You made,

but a mind You would hate?

If I slit my veins for fountains,

will you tell me I'm unholy?

Now I know, every exhale is a sin;

each inhale,

only stealing from the good.

My faith is weak and sluggish to spite my youth.

This arthritic, sceptic soul

tried endlessly to know You,

but the pews bruise my spine

and I'm gone again.

To Hell on Earth,

within me.

I ate the apple, so the devil dies.

This is the fall of man.