Mum.

why couldn’t you have been the mum I needed.

Why couldn’t have you loved and cared for me like one mothers should.

Instead I am getting the love you never gave me from another person mother. Im getting the care and kindness and the teachings of how to deal with boys and how to do my makeup and when my mental health is bad that I can talk about it and get help.

You only taught me one thing in life and this was from me living it, never ever become you.

I don’t want to become you,

I don’t want to be you,

I don’t want to live life how you have lived it.

You put me down all the time,

“Grades not good enough”

“Oh no it’s that boyfriends of yours fault”

Never once did you ask how I am or even try to understand me.

If I’m not serving you I’m selfish but if you don’t help us it’s because you too busy working or chilling out.

Everyone walks on eggshells around you.

Everyone terrified making sure they think twice before what they say around you.

You never raised me you where just evil all the time. Don’t think I forgot when dad made you a nice dinner and you just threw it on the floor, or the amounts of times where you screamed at me for no valid reason.

You only chuck money at us for our love.

You expect but never give anything in return.

It’s painful when I hear how my friends are best friends with their mums and yet I have nothing to say about you, nothing good anyway.

Again I ask,

Why wernt you MY mother?