The drops of doubt, cloud my once empty head
Bright red of color, sees white, change of dread
Whispers of no, how come, only one time, tells
Ring less bells, once chimed, now silent, fells
Packing it up, and leaving, for just a short while
Feeling pretty vile, heart in pieces, in a tiny pile
Words of don’t go, I’ll change, only just for you
Feeling blue, but not for you, go leave, it’s due
Wow! I love the rhythm of this and the picture it paints tells an odd but lovable story! Well done!
I love your rhymes in this poem, and you rhythm, with the commas, is excellent! Amazing writing <3
At one point, where you mention phrases, could be rewritten to fit the grammar structure of dialogue. It would look like this: “Words of, “don’t go-I’ll change-only just for you” (I’m not 100% sure if dashes work like that, but you could just replace them with commas or the like)
Anyways, this is an amazing poem :>