The Podium

Her words came out a jumble. She couldn’t organize her thoughts. How come it’s in the tip of her tongue but she can’t actually articulate how she feels?

She licked her lips, not too full and not too thin. Not the lovely Cupid’s bow that many women covet. Her teeth were straight enough, lucky to have not needed braces. Not that her parent could afford them anyway.

She starts again, she cleared her throat and her voice trembled a bit. Unsurprising since she’s a nervous person over all. She resisted the urge to run her hands through her hair, or place it on her face, or really do anything except stay still…focus on the words she said. She breathed in and out. Pfffffffffffffff

Her heart beat though. She could hear that and wondered if anyone else could too. Probably not, but that shake in her voice absolutely. She didn’t know why she bothered to step out of her comfort zone. Nothing every worked. Ever. Practice in the mirror, pills, outlines, speaking slower, toastmasters. Well I mean she hadn’t really done toastmaters but she seriously considered it. Maybe even signed up. But didn’t attend any meetings. Speaking to a bunch of people she didn’t know? Yeah no thanks. Still the things she had done? She always hoped that it would just, come to her. That one day she would wake up and be free of the crippling almost debilitating stage fright she felt when she had to speak to even the smallest of groups.

It felt…exhausting being her.

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