Marlo looked up and thought, here goes nothing. I can’t believe I’m actually here, finally! Years of schooling, internships, studying, research. I’m finally starting my dream job.

The snow was beautiful! The bridge, which connected the office building, was out of order. Leaving the building to enter was no fun but it didn’t matter. Because I made it!

My heels clapped against the concrete, and echoed throughout the parking garage. Once I reached the bottom, i pushed opened the door. The cold air hit me like a slap in the face. Slushy water flooded my brand new shoes.

I stepped off the curb. Right into a putrid puddle. Dogs barked in the background. The wind whipped my hair, which got stuck in the stickiness of my lipgloss. I squinted to protect my eyes from the bright white snow

I know I said it was beautiful. But it was also miserable. It was cold my toes began to burn. I wished I wore boots for the walk. My stockings sloshed in my heels.

What was I thinking?so what if it was the oldest building in the city.

I was shocked when I was met with resistance when I pulled the handle to the front door. Maybe it’s push? I leaned my body weight in and pushed.

Confused? I cupped my hands over the side of my eyes and peered in.

Dark. It looks abandoned. Like no one was there. What? I’m supposed to start today. I looked at my watch and realized. It’s Sunday.

Fuck.

Her words came out a jumble. She couldn’t organize her thoughts. How come it’s in the tip of her tongue but she can’t actually articulate how she feels?

She licked her lips, not too full and not too thin. Not the lovely Cupid’s bow that many women covet. Her teeth were straight enough, lucky to have not needed braces. Not that her parent could afford them anyway.

She starts again, she cleared her throat and her voice trembled a bit. Unsurprising since she’s a nervous person over all. She resisted the urge to run her hands through her hair, or place it on her face, or really do anything except stay still…focus on the words she said. She breathed in and out. Pfffffffffffffff

Her heart beat though. She could hear that and wondered if anyone else could too. Probably not, but that shake in her voice absolutely. She didn’t know why she bothered to step out of her comfort zone. Nothing every worked. Ever. Practice in the mirror, pills, outlines, speaking slower, toastmasters. Well I mean she hadn’t really done toastmaters but she seriously considered it. Maybe even signed up. But didn’t attend any meetings. Speaking to a bunch of people she didn’t know? Yeah no thanks. Still the things she had done? She always hoped that it would just, come to her. That one day she would wake up and be free of the crippling almost debilitating stage fright she felt when she had to speak to even the smallest of groups.

It felt…exhausting being her.