“I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.” I continue repeating myself because maybe I can trick my brain into believing me. “I don’t care.” Even I can hear the falter in my voice. “It doesn’t matter that he’s gone. You’re better without him.” Still not convincing. I feel my heart breaking, but all i can do is stare at the wall blankly. I know I have to let him go. Let go of the way he held me when I was sad. Let go of all of the inside jokes that would make me burst out laughing from just thinking about them. Let go of the way he smiled at me, like I was the only one that mattered. Let go of all of the memories. “Just let it go. That’s who he used to be, not who he is not.” I still don’t believe it. I thought what we had would be forever, but there were to many complications. The new girl. My cancer. Him transforming into someone incapable of love. “You’re being dramatic. You just drifted apart.” But I know there’s something else. I gave him my everything and he just took and took and left me empty. We never said it to each other, but I think that we both knew that it was over long before we ended things. I was too blinded by love to see it. But I deserve happiness. I need to forget.