i can feel the blame in my bones begging to be let out like a snake just waiting to strike. youre little notes floating around the house, that happened to be the last straw for him to take that gun how can i forgive you when im not sure i can even forgive myself? for letting you push all of us away, i had a say too, didn't i? I should have reached out sooner been there more often picked up the phone & called pushed back & said, "no, i am not going anywhere." "dont text, dont call, i dont want to hear from you anymore" he deserved better. i deserve better. this family deserves better. but you need someone too.