The stories of Santa are partially true

He comes down your chimney and rides a sleigh too

He likes milk and cookies and says “Ho Ho Ho”

But there’s something bout Santa that you might not know

Your stockings are hung from the chimney with care

But good old St. Nicholas, he’s not aware

He’s not here to leave presents or candy or toys

He leaves it to parents to dole out the joy

So what does old Santie keep in that red sack?

A lifetime of valuables slung on his back

He sneaks into houses in jolly disguise

And plucks precious items from under your eyes

Yes, that watch that you swore you had hid safe and sound

Was stolen by Santa right off of the ground

Your grandmothers ring you thought fell down the drain?

If Santa came by, you might think again

A piece of fine china, a real snake skin bag

Are all things that Santa Claus enjoys to snag

He fills up his sack with your trinkets and jewelry

Then heads back up north for a bit of tomfoolery

And what does St. Nicholas do with your treasures?

Is he saving them up for his own selfish pleasures?

Contrary, he sells them to the highest bidder

And rakes in the dough, the old crafty kidder

Oh black market Kringle, you conniving devil

You take “Secret Santa” to a whole different level

And somehow you’ve gotten away with your trick

For who would suspect sweet old jolly St. Nick?