As I lie In my bed looking up at the ceiling feeling annoyed The sound of the rain filled the house it’s melancholy atmosphere perfect for what I feel trapped in my feelings of hopelessness reminding me that I can never escape .

The sound of the notifications on my phone was ringing every minute helping to light up my room with it blue hue. Ding ding ding that sound driving me to insanitary I turned away from ding ding ding how long will this go on I wonder ding ding ding i turned back around to look at my phone watching it taunt me ding ding ding then silence For a tick then two finally I can rest or so I thought

a knocking so faint and soft I tried to ignore it thinking it was just in my head then it came aging tap tap tap much louder than the first go around and much harder to ignore so I slipped out from the safety of my blanket letting out a sigh as my feet touched the cold wooden floor.

I used my phone to light my path.The sound of the knocking grew louder as I made my way to the door I didn’t even look to my clock as I felt that I didn’t want to know the answer to that.

As I got closer to the door a voice called out “Charlie please open up I’m not leaving until we talked face to face” I sighed and leaned my head on the door “Please Alex just go home it’s better for both if we went on with our lives”a pound on the door made me back away a little “Listen hear Charlie!” They yelled “ you have no right to be avoiding me like this you coward, I gave you everything no one else can love you like I did” their voice shaking a bit as they spoke “ is it something I did I could change please just please I’ll do better just be mine again”

I put my back to the door and slide down putting my head onto my knees one I sat one the floor “ This right here This is the reason why “ I let out a strangled laugh “ you loved me so fiercely that I burned;now you’ll only be left with ashes” My throat starting to hurt as I tried to hold back tears “ I felt like a wild bird in a small cage kept away from others sure it was safe and I enjoyed the comfort it brought” I hugged myself tightly And shivered “until I realized that I was trapped, others were able to fly freely and be loved from a far.” I head a sob on the other side of the door as I continued.

“You were so scared and insecure that I’ll leave you for another that you tried everything to make me fear the world around me, one minute you’re saying sweet words the next you would cure my name.”

I picked up my head and wiped away my tears standing up to open the door looking them straight in their eyes noticing that they were red and puffy, feeling a pinch of guilt but quickly pushing it away.

“So please if you really truly loved me you would let me go” my voice slowly getting louder with the sound of the wind and rain picking up “so for my own sanity please stay away from me and stay out of my life!” I yelled seeing them flitch and back away, before they could utter another word I backed away and closed the door and make my way back to bed hoping that they’ll be able to move on.