Did I cross the line..? Surely not, this was all quite necessary to glean the closure I needed. Closure I wouldn’t get from him.

8 years spent together and when I said goodbye he understood his marching orders, offensively well infact. So well that I questioned how much I really meant to him to begin with. His reaction to our breakup was as half hearted as an obligatory “good game” handshake made by a rec league baseball team. I like to imagine it was just his ego fronting and as soon as my back was turned, he sunk to the ground in a sob, gasping and wrenching his hands. No way to know really. Until now.

I don’t miss him or want him back. Hell, I couldn’t get him out of the house fast enough. This initiative was born of curiosity- how the hell was he coping? How could he stand to go on after losing the light of his life (me)?

Carnally, it appeared. In the form of a ex-sorority brunette with a slight bulb to the end of her nose. So I did what was natural and ran a deep web search on her. Found her AP art portfolio from high school (contrived- she got a 3 however), posts on dogs she rescued, and all the monetary transactions she’d exchanged with him. He made her pay for Tacos, cheap as ever.

I assessed her likes and dislikes and with the efficiency of an AI crafted myself into a prospective friend of hers. I still had his location and by process of elimination had determined which address he often frequented was her domicile. Easy peasy.

The next morning I had my neighbor’s dog (borrowed) on a leash sniffing around her apartment complex. I spotted her, lucky timing, and she was walking her sand colored retriever in our general direction. “Hey, do you mind?” She called out, “She’s really friendly!”

The dogs were butt to nose. We were face to face. She asked me if I lived around here, “yes, just moved in!” turned on the charm. Small talk small talk, ingratiating behavior from me. She invites me to a game night at hers on Saturday.

Was I seeing anyone? I should feel free to bring them if so, after all, her boyfriend would be there!