Did I cross the line..? Surely not, this was all quite necessary to glean the closure I needed. Closure I wouldn’t get from him.

8 years spent together and when I said goodbye he understood his marching orders, offensively well infact. So well that I questioned how much I really meant to him to begin with. His reaction to our breakup was as half hearted as an obligatory “good game” handshake made by a rec league baseball team. I like to imagine it was just his ego fronting and as soon as my back was turned, he sunk to the ground in a sob, gasping and wrenching his hands. No way to know really. Until now.

I don’t miss him or want him back. Hell, I couldn’t get him out of the house fast enough. This initiative was born of curiosity- how the hell was he coping? How could he stand to go on after losing the light of his life (me)?

Carnally, it appeared. In the form of a ex-sorority brunette with a slight bulb to the end of her nose. So I did what was natural and ran a deep web search on her. Found her AP art portfolio from high school (contrived- she got a 3 however), posts on dogs she rescued, and all the monetary transactions she’d exchanged with him. He made her pay for Tacos, cheap as ever.

I assessed her likes and dislikes and with the efficiency of an AI crafted myself into a prospective friend of hers. I still had his location and by process of elimination had determined which address he often frequented was her domicile. Easy peasy.

The next morning I had my neighbor’s dog (borrowed) on a leash sniffing around her apartment complex. I spotted her, lucky timing, and she was walking her sand colored retriever in our general direction. “Hey, do you mind?” She called out, “She’s really friendly!” The dogs were butt to nose. We were face to face. She asked me if I lived around here, “yes, just moved in!” turned on the charm. Small talk small talk, ingratiating behavior from me. She invites me to a game night at hers on Saturday.

Was I seeing anyone? I should feel free to bring them if so, after all, her boyfriend would be there!

She can’t wait to see whose old facebook photos are the most catfishy today. Whose jawlines have gone soft vs who has been preparing for this with semaglutide shots. Its petty, but she is chomping at the bit to hear more about Maria and Tom’s sordid split. They had two kids and apparently divided them up in their divorce paperwork along with the financial assets.

Amelia plucks up a champagne flute full of kirkland brand cava and scans the old gymnasium. So low brow to have this event here, surely after 20 years someone from their alma mater would have made enough dough to rent a proper venue. Upon further reflection of her own sub poverty line upbringing, she redacts the thought. Its a pleasant surprise not everyone here is still trailer trash.

Oh god, Sam is walking over to her. She smooths her dress down & attempts nonchalance. How does he somehow look better now than he did 20 years ago? The salt and pepper hair at his temples, the subtle laugh lines around his mouth.. Amelia feels a twinge that takes her back to the bench seat of his truck, when his hands last ran up her thigh. Swallowing, she reminds herself she’s past this- she’s out earned and outgrown them all.

3 glasses of cava later and Amelia is hanging off of Sam’s Walmart dress shirt. She’s done a shotgun with Tom after he finished lamenting to her about how much of a bitch Maria is. She ripped her 50 dollar sheertex tights and for once she doesn’t care about the state of her wardrobe.

Ready to recreate a scene from decades past, Sam grins at Amelia as he leads her to a slightly newer version of the same white truck in the school parking lot. “Ah, Amelia” he sighs wistfully, “you can take the girl out of Fort Wayne, but you can’t take the Fort Wayne out of the girl”

She’s quiet which is unusual for her. Did I just catch a twitch of her upper lip? The rest of the group is huddled by the waterfall, laughing and taking selfies. She hopes she won’t be caught sitting alone in the back of the photos.

The scenery is beautiful, the water calming, she tells herself. But she can’t help but feel a bit winsome for her own kin, the people that make her feel like sunshine. This whole retreat was supposed to be about her return to a spiritual home, connection. But she feels disjointed from the herd.

What is she meant to learn from this then? Her stomach rumbles, she didn’t pack anything to eat on the hike. The joy of solitude, perhaps? She rolls her eyes to herself- she gets enough of solitude.

One girl in the group spills bubble liquid into the water. Humans are such a blight on earth, she thinks abstractedly. She knows shes part of the problem and that makes her cringe. Another girl blasts rap music from her phone, distracting from the sound of the water leaping over rock.

They aren’t her people. She feels somewhere out there, her people do exist, but today isn’t that homecoming.

Introduce protagonists: a set of omphalopagus conjoined twins (13yr old girls)

First conflict btwn twins - intro their parents, friend, life at school, why they haven’t already been separated (mom is iatrophobic)

Backstory of how they grew up together in relative harmony - further explaining their world

chapter pov twin a conflict

Chapter pov twin b conflict

They see a psychologist who observes the difficulties they are having and suggests some ideas

Povs of both twins (2chapters) to deepen understanding of their psyches and conflicts of wanting independence while connected physically

Twin A begins researching separation surgery - mom rejects

Twin B reaction to that - trepidation but becoming fed up

Large conflict that brings to head need for the surgery - risky but necessary to take action

Discussion with both psychologist and surgeon specialist - discussion of dangers and extreme novelty of the procedure

They get approved for surgery

Pov of both twins (2 chapters)

Healthscare before surgery - a drug overdose? Something to do with shared liver or blood supply

Go through with surgery

Fast forward, they have healed and how they have benefited from separation (reader payoff and tying of loose ends)

The Twin’s house: American suburban neighborhood, they are housebound without a car and given they are 13 they cannot drive. Their mom will be taking them most places they need to go.

School: public middle school, they would take the bus there or their mom would take them. They live a 10 min drive from their school.

Area of the US- nondescript and not really a fun destination city. somewhere in the southeast or midwest.

Set in modern day, so they will have cell phones to communicate and much of their interaction with others will be online Potential virtual communication platforms to explore like reddit or forums online

Their childhood best friend will ride the same bus and live close by either in their neighborhood or a few neighborhoods over.

The Twins Mom: Supportive, coddling, accommodating Also exasperated at the circumstances at times, fearful of their surgical separation. Has s fondness for Twin B

The Twins Dad: Blue collar, generally upbeat, uses humor to diffuse situations, not great with expressing emotions - sees Twin A as more like himself.

The Twins childhood best friend: Eccentric, openminded, neurodivergent, relates to the feeling of being outcast Twin B may have feelings twd - could be fun

Love interest of Twin A: Class clown, popular, has been kind to them when other boys weren’t. He’s an object of normalcy and fantasy for Twin A. Twin B thinks he is obnoxious in class and does not share interest.

Twin A: exploratory, individualistic, strong willed

Twin A has been the natural leader of the two and the first to speak her mind. She finds herself curious about people, their actions and their inner worlds. That being said, shes mostly thinking about them in terms of what they can offer her. She can’t stand pity (and has been given a lot of it in her life) her confidence can be a bit of a front to protect herself.

Twin B: thoughtful, abiding, neurotic

Twin B feels like a side kick sometimes that has no agency. She resents herself for not speaking up more. While she daydreams about breaking the rules she barely does, or she manipulates the situation so that it is agreeable to her. She experiences bouts of sadness that make her feel quite disconnected to the world around her. All that said, she is very empathetic, probably to a fault.

This one is for the weird girlies who enjoy books like “A Certain Hunger” and “Bunny” and anything with a female protagonist who is lowkey depraved. Anyone who has experienced or questioned the female experience, people who have enjoyed taking mushrooms and think about identity and physical space. I don’t know if thats too niche, but with the rise of book tok it shows me the market is there. I think people interested in oddities and curiosities would also be interested. People interested in physical anomalies. Experimental creative people would like it.

About: The plot centers around twin conjoined girls in middle school years. They are trying to figure out their own identities while never being able to physically separate.

Main plotconflicts: Antithetical personalities- they don’t agree hardly on anything They are undergoing puberty They are unpopular. While they often hate each other they are kind of all they have. Differing morality and sexuality

Plot points: Intro the characters in a fight - something as simple as clothes shopping could be a big deal (hook reader and start off in the middle of a conflict) Omniscient pov that explains high level what the situation is and who our characters are. Some research backed explanation for how they are conjoined and what it means

From this intro, Alternating chapters for the twins to get into their individual heads. Their POV on events.

Twin A- going to cause some trouble (porn watching) Twin B- disapproving but intrigued

As they become more defined individuals- the pressure becomes greater to separate them. Ongoing story conflict about getting the surgery, but some reason they cant (finances or health wise)

Twin A - is motivated by novel experiences, questions everything, tendency to bend the rules, avoidantly attached, straight

Twin B- lives in her own head, tends to stick with status quo, anxiously attached, depressed, hiding that she is gay

Continued conflict (middle school dance, decision to go on antidepressants, skipping school, personal style, boys)

Event that severs the girls emotionally, with impending surgery that is scheduled (emotional climax)

Surgery - could look like one or both may die

Successful completion of surgery- satisfying ending where they both get to be individuals physically and have a deeper appreciation for each other.

There’s salt water in your mouth, the blood in the veins of the earth. You want to scream and signal for help, then think about how easy it would be just to sink.

How many people have seen a watery fate? Plenty of drunk sailors or unprepared beach goers you presume. Water is fickle, life giving and life taking.

Your legs work overtime to keep your head above the waves, white tipped and sharp like a steel blade. You see the shore, but it appears farther from you with every twitch of your feet.

Is it just instinct keeping you going at this moment? Why can’t the brain override the body? It seems in pain or distress, your brain just numbs out. But you need clarity, maybe a savior (though until this point that hasn’t really been your style.)

In a move of surrender, you position yourself face up to the stars and float.