I don‘t love you. The words ring in my head like an echo. I‘ve been telling myself that for months. My heart is pounding in my chest and my breath is flat and hectic as I rush to meet you. I don’t love you, I think, as I fix my hair so you won‘t see it messy. Though I doubt you would care. Then, there you are, your blue eyes piercing me and making my racing heart stand still for a second. I don‘t love you. Nervously I step towards you, unsure of whether you actually want me here. I‘ve missed you but I don‘t think you feel the same. Is it okay to get close to you? Your scent hits me and immediately I’m transported back to the time before the pain, before the lies. We used to hold each other for hours but things are different now. You always felt like home to me. Now, home has turned into a stranger. I’m having trouble keeping eye contact. Is it because I’m afraid of what will happen if I do? I don’t love you, I repeat to myself. But it’s too late. Without saying a word, you pull me close. It’s not just a hug, it’s an embrace. I hold you tightly, breathing you in like that could make me remember you forever. As if clinging to you physically could keep you from abandoning me and undo the times you left me out in the cold. All i can feel is you and your arms around me as the world stands still. Seconds pass, maybe minutes, but it makes no difference. Time doesn’t matter now. Whatever happened between us doesn’t matter now. I’m home and it feels like this moment could last forever. I love you.