Happy For You

I want to be happy for you

I do

The ring on your finger

And a finger running through her hair

While you stare into her eyes

It’s great to see you happy

But I wish those eyes were mine

The only arms I ever felt truly safe in

Keep someone else warm tonight

Your smell wore off my clothes years ago

But now and then I catch a whiff

In a corner shop

And stop

Because I’ve forgotten how to breathe

I wonder what she thinks of your stories

That voice that never made me bored

I would have spent an eternity

On cold metal bleachers

Drinking in your words

As long as you would let me

You knew me poetically

__ In a way I thirst after To feel again

I am tender creature But with you I become ravenous All I desire is to taste your lips Your body The moving pieces of your soul How I would devour them If I had not abandoned my chance My tongue feels dry At the thought

I could have fought harder I often think Would you have fought as well? For the fire that engulfed all feeling The one who would never leave my mind Try as I might You have a place cemented there That now feels like an abandoned shrine To a bittersweet love

I want to be happy for you I do But while my world collapses You spin her in the breeze I kick myself everyday That I didn’t fight To make that me

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