Tomorrow you’ll become one. You’ll be his and he’ll be yours. I don’t want you to be his. I want you to be my mine. I want to be known for being yours. Even though you seem to love him, I can’t bear to see you with him. I want to see you with me. But I can’t tell you. Even though you make my stomach flutter and my skin burn and my heart melt. Even though I never want to hurt you and he does. Even though I know you’ll never hurt me because you never have. Even though I love you, I can’t speak the words. Not to you, not to anyone. Not even to myself.

I get up and walk towards the glistening water near my cabin. It’s dark outside and no one is awake. Not even you, my lovely insomniac. It’s ironic how much you love the night. Seeing as your so bright yourself. Everything about you screams light and day and warmth. You’re eyes crackle like a warm fire. Your long, blonde hair lights up the sky. Your smile makes everyone around you feel like they’re walking on the sun. Your laugh makes people feel alive. It makes me want to be alive.

I’m not like that though, I’m dark and lonely and rough. I’m the dark, cold, night air and you’re the lighting bug flying through it. Not even waiting to see if I’m okay. Not waiting to see if you’ve hurt me. But you never do, instead, for a moment, I’m left bright and warm and feeling loved and alive. How do you manage to do that? Run through life like your in a rush, but taking enough time as not to hurt anyone. You light the world on fire, but make sure nothing burns down. You burn a fire in my heart and make me feel alive, but just as soon as you come, you’re gone. Or do you just not realize what you’re doing? Are you so free that you don’t realize how entrapped by you everyone else is. How entangled in the chains of life I am. I need you. Like the moon needs the sun to shine. Like I need light to see. Like the night sky needs the lighting bug to light it up.

I turn to head back in to my home when I see a streak of light. I think it’s you for a second. But as I look closer, it’s just a little lightning bug bumbling towards the glistening pond. Flying away from me. I sigh and walk into my cabin. It’s warm. It doesn’t make since. The fire I lit earlier has long since gone out. It should be cold. Bitterly cold, like me. And as I head towards the fire to investigate the warmth, I feel it. My stomach starts to turn and flutter and my skin starts to prickle and warm. You’re standing in my living room. Back turned to me. Blonde hair flowing down your shoulders. You light a match and throw it on the almost completely burnt out logs on my fire. I start to say that they probably won’t light when they instantly go up in flames. You turn and look at me and smile.

“I love you too,” you say, walking towards me slowly. I furrow my brow and open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say. How did you know? I’ve never uttered those words to anyone. Not even myself. You finally get near enough to touch me and you take my hand. The smell of burning wood fills my nose, but I don’t care. I’m here, with you, alone. You’re all mine. Finally.

“Forever,” you say as you smile at me, a tear running down your cheek. I reach up to wipe it away and as I do, I look behind you and see it. The flames. Wrapping around your head. Around your feet. Around you. Around us. You didn’t throw the match on the fire wood. You threw it on the cabin. I look at you, eyes wide and you just smile at me. And start to laugh, a warm, melodious laugh full of love and life. How are you laughing at a time like this? We’re going up in flames. They’re all around us. We’re surrounded by heat and fire and I feel like I’m melting.

But I guess I always feel like I’m melting when I’m with you.