I lost my will that day I took those pills

It wasn’t long until my vision blurred but the flashbacks still occurred .

So I took more to drown the thoughts to get rid of the emotions it brought along .

The comfort of knowing it be over soon that I’ll no longer have to deal with the gloom drives me to continue .

I remember that nurse she assured me I wasn’t cursed that I will get better in time that I need to tell them what’s wrong .

See it’s a endless cycle of spilling out your guts or suffering in silence , let’s just tick a few boxes and will have a chat how we can stick to a plan to keep you safe .

That one word “ plan “ can really shake your core and leave you unsure as they try to dig deeper on why you want to die to a point were you just want to cry .

But you can’t cause if you show emotion you’re not ok they’ll make you stay , so yes I’m stuck trying to get better , do I tell them about the letter ?

Living sucks all those memories that linger a feeling you can never shake yet you still put on a show and fake being fine it should really be a crime .

What the point letting people question if your safe because it’s a very vague question . safe from myself or from others because there some events I’ll never recover from like a part of me is already gone .

My mind changes daily so not even I can be sure of the emotions I’ll find because my heart is blind to love yet so used to pain .

So go ahead call me Insane it’s fine I blame myself too .