I never really imagined before that I would

Have to experience a life wihtout you.

For the longest time

you were my forever friend

You were the one i always wanted to call

If anything happened

I loved telling you

I loved hearing your stories and

Your thoughts

I loved you

I think i still do

If i can pinpoint the moment

Where the fissures

Of a life without you started

It would have to be

The day you told me

You were proposing

And I told you to

Go ahead

It wasn’t the day you

Tried to propae to me.

It was the day you told me

You would propose to her

And i didnt take it seriously

Because

I didnt think it was possible

Maybe I took it for granted

That moment

That you would always be there

I watched one day

And i felt like

My heart always thought

Maybe one day

We would be together

In one day

Even when he married

He still found their way back

I want to prick myself

With tiny needles

In my face

Because maybe i could

Regenerate

I always wanted to be

Successful

And i admit

It is nice

But i still miss you

I feel like i will always miss you

I dont know how to stop

How i could stop wanting

To talk to my best friend

The only thing that

Gives me small comfort

Is in another universe

We are still in

Each others lives

I didnt know it was so final

Life without you

Is successful

Life without you has an ache

A life without you is not as

Satisfying

But it is more stable

And for awhile

When all i had was starting over

I wanted something i could build