She had started it and then stopped a multitude of times. It was too late now. She couldn’t send it. The messages and words piled up in her like snow. Light at first but eventually the weight felt crushing.
It was too late. He was married.
Her mind skipped to all the moments and crossroads that couldve been. That could’ve made things different.
This text. This message was not one of them.
They had both gone too far down the crossroads and she wasn’t sure if it would ever lead back to each other again.
They rolled over in her chest. He was the only one who ever made her feel things in such a rainbow of ways.
They felt almost everything together but now…they never talked.
She thought about the things she wouldve said to him and sometimes she did talk to what she imagined would be him when she walked home alone. She sang to him. The words came pouring out, melodies.
She sighed when did it turn out that she would be the one nursing something so onesided?
When did the roles flip like this?
The moment he saw her everything changed. He felt it on a cellular level. Somehow this was different. She was different. Whatever this was. It was different.
He just felt drawn to her like a magnet. The way she looked at him. The way she smiled. There was something there in the air between them. She made him want to write sonets and poetry.
I never really imagined before that I would Have to experience a life wihtout you.
For the longest time you were my forever friend You were the one i always wanted to call If anything happened
I loved telling you I loved hearing your stories and Your thoughts I loved you I think i still do
If i can pinpoint the moment Where the fissures Of a life without you started It would have to be The day you told me
You were proposing And I told you to Go ahead
It wasn’t the day you Tried to propae to me.
It was the day you told me You would propose to her And i didnt take it seriously
Because I didnt think it was possible Maybe I took it for granted That moment That you would always be there
I watched one day And i felt like My heart always thought Maybe one day
We would be together In one day Even when he married He still found their way back
I want to prick myself With tiny needles In my face Because maybe i could Regenerate
I always wanted to be Successful
And i admit It is nice
But i still miss you I feel like i will always miss you I dont know how to stop How i could stop wanting To talk to my best friend
The only thing that Gives me small comfort Is in another universe We are still in Each others lives
I didnt know it was so final Life without you Is successful Life without you has an ache A life without you is not as Satisfying But it is more stable And for awhile When all i had was starting over I wanted something i could build
