there’s

grime under

my fingernails

and my skin

is too

tight on my bones

and blood

thumps through

my veins

and it feels

so gross to

be alive

but the shower

isn’t cleansing

the feeling away

can’t get

away from

it

the clinging

feeling of

panic

and it doesn’t

help the dirt when

you say to get a grip

so maybe leave

me and the

mud to sit

and work it

out without

yelling

and then maybe

i’ll stop

crying