TW: suicidal ideation (reflecting on past thoughts, not present intent)

She painted black

Over my favorite Monet

She had the power

To slap night onto day

It was endless the gray

I was not okay

Because she’d show me the light

Then take it away

She made everything dark

And nothing fun

Dealing with her was so heavy

That I wanted to be done

Being alive

But now she’s gone

And the sky is back to blue

But this change feels a little

Too good to be true

She was just one woman

How could it be?

That she alone could have

Such power over me?

To make me turn off?

To darken the sun?

To block every path

So I could see none?

I’m in shock

That just like that

I can see blue sky

I’m embarassed

That one person

Could make me want to die

It can’t be that simple

Since now darkness

Is my friend

And we fell in love so

This can’t be the end

This is me now

Me and night

I thought we were it

That when me and darkness met

We finally fit

So here I still sit

Unwilling to admit

That there’s hope ahead

That bad fortune ever flips

The sun is out again

After all of that suffering

Just making one change

Was it?

Who am I?

If she

Was just a solar eclipse