On the day i noticed his twinkling eyes,

my world came crashing down.

I’d seen him cry, shake, and shiver.

His face pale as paper and his stare cold as ice.

I bit my tongue to supress my feelings

that had been bubbling deep in my gut for some time,

but it was no use.

Words came pouring out.

Words i thought i’d never say came gushing like my tears,

And i couldn’t hold back the waterfall.

Couldn’t hold back the oceans and the waves that swept My Love away.

The guilt that then took over me was otherworldly.

We were on two different planets entirely.

You looked at me,

with your tearful eyes,

sparkling more than ever before,

and you… you told me you were hurting.

You told me the devil had a hold of my tongue,

And i didn’t call for a saviour,

But simply let myself be taken over by my insecurity, my jealousy, my rage.

Please, my boy, my sweet boy,

don’t let my words ruin the light in your eyes.

I’m terribly afraid to lose you.

Don’t you know how close fear is to love?

It’s inches, just inches,

and i’m on the cusp.

I’m on the edge of the line — the cliff —

Calling your name,

Begging for you,

Dragging you down to the bottom of the pit with me.

I need you now

more than ever before,

while your tears run down your soft cheeks,

still stained the cherry-red shade

of my lipstick.

I know it’s selfish,

but the words i said that day meant so much to me,

that no gate or fence could keep hemmed in.

I didn’t trust you,

Ok?

I’d been broken before and that piece of my heart taken from me years ago was never replaced,

until i met you.

I wasn’t ready for the piece to come loose again,

So i pushed you away with my voice,

And you choked at the word ‘untrustworthy’.

It was almost as if it strangled you and tugged at your heart strings,

Because the sadness that followed,

As our eyes locked,

Made me realise it was me all along.

It was I — I who saw the stars in your eyes

and my World in your hands,

that said these spiteful things.

It was me who painted this God-awful image of you in my head,

of a liar… a cheater… someone you could never be!

And for what?

For your despair and heartbreak?

How could i be so brainless?

You’re the searchlight in my life,

my beacon of hope and light and love.

You light up my World

and when i stare into your eyes,

I feel like i’m floating.

Floating away into bliss.

It’s a shame i act the way i do,

For i love you more than life itself.

This is why, My Love, i’ve never stopped regretting that day.

Never been so remorseful since I was so foolish,

and forced tears from out of your gorgeous eyes.

I’m sorry,

and i hope you see that i’m trying to be better,

a desperate endeavour to be someone you deserve.

(You deserve the World)

Georgia White.