I Really Should Be Cleaning

Clothes hung in the closet And nothing on the floor That’s how it’s supposed to be But oh, not anymore Now all is in the closet And the clothes are on the floor A hurricane has happened Or possibly a war I really should be cleaning I can’t even see my bed But I opened up my phone And now I’m writing this instead

Comments 5

Mr. Fuzzy Tibbets

2 years ago

Love it!

Fragglet

3 years ago

To be clear, I loved the simplicity (and reality!) of this poem. 🙌🏼👏🏼⭐️

The last line, of the first stanza, seemed to run on a little longer rhythmically than the others.

With respect (and just to experiment), I suggest that for a slight change of rhythm, add:

Clothes hung in the closet (6 beats)

Nothing on the floor (5 beats)

That’s how it’s supposed to be (7 beats)

But no, not anymore (6 beats)

Now all is in the closet (7 beats)

And the clothes are on the floor (7 beats)

A hurricane has happened (7)

Or possibly a war (6 beats)

The third stanza I would totally leave.

What do you think? 🤔—If this suggestion doesn’t ‘sit well’ with you, then please totally ignore me—knowing that, regardless of our differing interpretations, I love the gist of your poem 😁

Nice work! 🙌🏼👏🏼

I Really Should Be Cleaning

Mae Bailey