You never saw me living Because I hid from you I was invisible I saw what you did to those you did see
You never saw me dying Because you don’t care about the dying I died alone I never saw you anywhere
You never saw me in hell Because I prayed for your forgiveness I am invisible But I see you heavenly garments don’t quite match those of the true saints
You never saw me enter heaven Because I snuck up on you I’m not invisible anymore I’ll drag you to hell…. And there’s nothing left for me to lose.
Children watched as a woman rushed through a fog laden wood. She was dressed in black hurrying away from the town that sits just on the outskirts. She carries a leather bound suit case that holds the only chance she has of escaping a terrible fate! A white veil hides what could be the undoing of her very existence. And she is running out of time. Will Janice make it before she is permanently this way? She can feel he limbs begin to tighten and harden in a way that is making it difficult to run and breathe. It’s happening…
It all began when she came upon a strange village just outside of her own town. She had never heard of the strange place…Quinn alley. That’s what the sign said as she rode on her bike and onto the Main Street of the village. Having a bit of money, she stopped at the quaint shops that lined each side of the curved street. It was a strange town indeed…. For there was no one in it…. No one but the mannequins set up on display!
After having eaten from the bakery, Janice started to feel stiff and strange. She didn’t think much of it as she walked into the old bookstore, until she noticed every book was about becoming human and how to be as human as possible. She was about to ask the shop keeper about all these strange books, but as she looked into his eyes, she realized he too was just a mannequin. She also realized she could no longer speak. The book on the counter had all the answers. There were 3 rules:
Don’t look eat the food or they’ll take over your body.
Don’t look into their eyes or they’ll take over your face.
Don’t let another person see you if you didn’t follow steps one and two.
P.s. if you didn’t follow steps one and two and you don’t want to be permanently like them, you better run and find the key that opens the shed in the woods. There you must gaze upon the mirror so that reality as you know it will remain firm and true.
It was by some chance or miracle…. Or perhaps some viscous cruel joke, that light reflected off something shiny and golden. Janice turned to look, and in the shop just beyond was a large golden key! But then she heard voices! Could there have been more people who stumbled upon this cursed place? She grabbed the dark coat and white cloth that were hanging up just beside the door before she ran out to the shop across the street. She could hear the voices scream as she ran towards the shop. At first the door wouldn’t open but as luck would have it, it gave just as she was about to smash the window. She grabbed the key and put it in her leather bound bag. She then made a run for the woods.
Which is where the young children who screamed in horror followed her and watched as she ran as though her life depended on it…. Because it did. They ran after her but couldn’t keep up.
But then Janice’s feet became too heavy. Her breath was slowly escaping her and not coming back. Her face became immovable. Finally… just as she caught sight of the shed, her vision and self began to fade.
The children stand still as the woman does. They keep watching, but she stands like a statue without even breathing. A wind picks up and blows the white veil from her face. One child looks into her lifeless mannequin eyes while the other child complains of the pastry he just got from the shop tasting funny. Little do they know that they too are running out of time…. But they’ll find out soon enough!
A breeze whipped my snow dripped blond hair into my face. I always wondered at how much my hair reminded me of ramen noodles. That’s the real reason I used to chew on my hair in class. Betty my friend who is walking beside me always tried to get me to stop before anyone else noticed. She must have thought I’d be embarrassed. Truth is, I never cared what others thought of my strange habits. Betty on the other hand was always so self conscious. I think it has to do with her insecurities about her cross eye. She used to complain about it all the time but now she just seems to sort have accepted it. That and her dark hair parts just perfectly to cover it.
Violet!
I was just pulling my hair back from my face when Betty shouted at me and made me nearly jump into the street!
What is your problem?
Look at your apartment building….
Yeah it’s brick and boring except for my apartment that has a tiny useless Juliet balcony. What about…
That’s when I noticed it too. A strange bridge that seemed to connect my apartment specifically to the building right next door… a building I have never ever noticed till this moment!
What in the
World…. Betty had a habit of finishing my sentences. That’s what you get for being life long best friends.
We looked at each other for a moment. My violet eyes bulging outta my head and her hazel ones turning a shade greener. Then it clicked for both of us in the same moment.
We raced to my apartment! Without saying a word, we both knew it was time to explore! We took the stairs two at a time and and nearly clawed our way past my door.
Where could that bridge connect?
I looked around and then that’s when I remembered. My closet…. I always knew it seemed to be deeper than was obvious. I ran into my bedroom with Betty close on my heals.
You think it could be in here?
My closet! Remember when I moved in and you said how weird this closet seemed? Like the outside walls go back further than the actually closet?
Yes!
We ripped my clothes off the bar and threw them carelessly on the floor. Before us was a wall. A seemingly ordinary sheet rocked painted wall…. That is strange now that we have seen the bridge. Now that I think of the rest of the walls in my apartment; they are all plaster! All but this one sheet rock wall!
Betty bangs on it and sure enough. Hollow sounding. Then she did something truly crazy. Something very un Betty like. She kicked a hole right through the wall! She kicked it without caring a hoot about consequences or what I’d say. I refused to let her have all the fun. I began kicking away too!
When the wall was finally demolish enough for us to slip inside, all we saw was darkness that seemed to loom on forever. It was creepy. I was first to step inside, one foot in front of the other. Betty had the smarts to turn her phone flashlight on. There only five feet away was a giant old heavy wooden door. It was already open! I opened it wide and had to step back because of the brightness! The bridge we had seen outside from down below was flanked with intricate paned windows on each side. We each shivered as we approached the bridge despite it being surprisingly warm.
I can’t see the other side
I looked and sure enough neither could I. How weird. It’s not like this bridge bends in any way…
I walked across and Betty followed. The bridge seems solid enough. I let out my tightly held breath. Surely the scariest part has passed right?
That’s when we heard it. Whispering. It was coming from one of the three doors covered in shadow ten feet from the bridge. We tip tied up to the door to get a better vantage for hearing.
It was Putin.
Betty and I looked at each other in horror and fear. We heard another voice talk about where they want to bomb next, Kyiv. The final power source for the citizens and military there. Then we heard a cough. We stifled a laugh when we realized we had to be hearing someone’s tv! Well jokes on you Putin. The whole world knows where you plan to bomb next!
Betty and I tried the other two doors since they were completely silent. Only one opened. It was an snort closet. Well it was almost empty. There was an old map folded up. It looked like a crusty old road map. I took it as a souvenir.
That night, Betty and I ordered Chinese and ate it in front of the tv. We were playing games on our phone and watching the local news about dogs gone wild. A dog marathon to help endangered wild life. Finally… putting animals to work so we don’t have to do all the running! Good job Fido…. But then the six o’clock news came on to update us on the Ukrainian plight . Russia had just bombed the final power source in Kyiv. Plans for the military have to drastically change in this moment.
Betty and I froze and slowly turned to one another….we turned to my highly unused kitchen table where the supposed road map sat that I had commandeered earlier.
Betty was faster than me and snatched it right up. Sure enough. It wasn’t a road map. It was a map of the building. No not a blue print… a literal map. It had only one writing on it. All of your answers are here. It covered the area of the empty closet…. This closet too seemed to have a bridge connected to it.
Like in the choose your own adventure, Betty and I had a choice to make. Stay here and pretend nothing ever happened… or go exploring.
In that moment, we could hear a little girl crying. Then we could hear the same girl crying on tv.
Betty ran out of my apartment leaving her favored Chinese behind. I was left alone…. To explore. It really was the only choice for me!
Girl 1: There’s that annoying kid The one who laughs too much I hate it when they joke around Their laughter is an annoying sound
Girl 2: O look my friend on the swing! I wonder if she will play tag with me She says the funniest things She always makes me so happy!
Boy 1: Poor stupid girl She thinks Andrea is her friend But she has no idea what she says On the bus when the day is at an end
Teacher 1: When will recess be over? I swear time goes by more slowly outside I didn’t sign up to teach kids How to slide on the slide
I’m used to not speaking up It’s easy for me But easy has a price Nothing is truly free
I kept quiet When I saw injustice I kept quiet And silence kept the truth hidden Like an impenetrable fortress
No one benefited Nothing was made better Each time I didn’t speak up Around my neck heart and mouth a fetter
I want to break these chains Of dreadful silence I want to speak the truth in love I want to be more than my compliance I want to break free like a dove
Maybe it will start with just a whisper Maybe I’ll dramatically bust free It’s time to escape the prison That silence has fortified all around me
“Um… please listen.”
“Uh… I have something I’d like to say.”
I didn’t know I could be this happy being a mom. Honestly. I like kids…. As long as I don’t have to be around them. My son is so different. Everyone said it would be different but I thought they were lying. People’s opinions have never rang true for me in the past… u til I became a mom.
Not only do I love being around my baby but I am absolutely greedy for his cuddles. I never saved a thing, now every little moment and trinket and left over is a treasure. I promise I’m not insane. I just don’t want to lose these moments.
I cried every month he was a month older. I cried as I put his newborn clothes away. I cried as he lost his favorite toy but rejoiced when I found it under the couch.
I cried when I thought about his first birthday… just a few days away. So many moments that will never be lived again. I have photos and videos… but I’ll never be able to hold my newborn.
His smiles make me laugh… so do his tantrums. The little things that a small boy cares about seemed so mundane to me. He’s crawling and getting into everything and driving me nuts. I love almost every minute. He honestly scares me with his curiosity.
His birthday has arrived. My husband and I celebrate it his parents house. His two sisters are there. Two of the four children from his one sister are there to celebrate as well. She takes my son and plays with him, showing him some new dollar tree item. He laughs and is having the best time. It is fun to sit back and laugh… until….
It’s time for him to open his presents. My sister in law still has him in her lap. I find myself greedy for this moment but afraid to speak up. One by one my husband passes each wrapped present for my son to tear into.
I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right now.
But I didn’t say it. I didn’t say anything. I let her hold my son as he gleefully unwrapped each gift. The moment was over too soon and it was lost to me forever.
I know it’s a small thing. But I’ve cried about it daily since. I’m not angry or resentful. Just really sad that I missed this. I don’t really talk about it to anyone but God. I know He’s big enough to care about even the hard little things.
Hey Jimmy! How’s it hangin?
Jimmy the roach approached his good friend bob the fly.
Oh you know. Keeping it real. How about that weather?
Yeah man! It’s gettin hot yo!
Tell me about it. My 500 kids say I need to install that air conditioner. I had to remind them I’m just a tiny roach and our giant has moved out and the electricity has been turned off.
Man that stinks. Things aren’t so great for me either. I remember when I used to roll in the poo. Not so much poo these days.
Yeah I feel yeah. I don’t know where all those giants went, but man a whole lotta other things went with them!
For sure Jimmy. For sure. But you know what they left?
What’s that bob?
Garbage. A glorious amount of garbage.
Yeah bob. That’s what I’m talking about! You coming to our party later on tonight?
You know I wouldn’t miss it! All the heat in this world couldn’t stop me!
Yeah that’s right. Haha me neither. Me neither bob. It’s our world now.
We’re so advanced. We now all have a purpose. The meaning of life has been discovered. The meaning? To live!
We all have a part to play so we all can live. We all must contribute. This is living. This is loving.
My part? I’m the comic relief. I make everyone laugh. The problem. I’m not laughing. I don’t think my life is very funny.
I feel like a punching bag. I cry. They laugh. I scream stop! They laugh harder.
I’m being too sensitive. I need to get over it. This is who I am. This is my part to play. Don’t I care about the community? Don’t I want life to continue? I need to love everyone!
We don’t have wars anymore. We don’t have diseases anymore. At least… not outside of me…. And I feel like I’m about to explode.
Maybe killing didn’t start with a cry…. Maybe it started with a laugh.
