I feel the vile rise in my throat as I look at you.

She’s with you, you’re with her.

My thoughts are consumed by your every move,

at the corner of my eye I always find you.

My hands shake as I wait and wait for a message from you.

there is no other person I will respond to.

My friends want to know if I’d like some coffee,

I don’t bother replying, I’m only looking for your name on my screen.

My heart hammers everytime I steal a glance and I can’t contain that feeling.

I wake up hours early to meticulously draw on my eyeliner.

Will you ever notice? Do you care about those things?

She wears eyeliner you know

each day we don’t speak I find my mind slowly slipping.

What will I do without you?

What is the point of existing?

Why should I sleep when you’re not next to me?

Why should I eat when she is so much thinner?

Why should I speak if my words aren’t directed towards you?

Why should I live if you are not mine?

This crush will consume me from the inside,

it’s all I can find time for when a week ago I didn’t know your name.

But now I do know your name.

It is written in the crevices of my mind, and on the blank pages in my notebook, and it’s written on the empty spaces on my wall, it’s written on my skin and I can feel you on me always.