It takes all my effort to smile,

It’s exhausting to be happy,

All my chores take a long while,

I wish I could show some emotion, besides “fake happy.”

But I guess it’s not programmed in me,

Because any sign of emotion,

And I am so ashamed of the feeling inside me,

Maybe, I need some kind of healing lotion.

No big feelings and no big mess,

I was such a good, smart child,

I never ‘felt’ things or did any less,

I never played, I never acted wild.

And now sadly I myself am a mess,

And I can’t ‘feel’ or ‘be,’

Because I’m meant to be grown-up, nothing less,

Well haha, I’m still a kid, don’t you see?