Your love is an arrow
It strikes hard , fast
fills me with the poisonous of
your care, sweet and dripping like dew.
raining on me daily
stealing the only breath I possess
that is still mine and not yours.
For you own this body and soul now,
As your own
your love is like an arrow..
Laced with your poison.
this is beautiful! i love your use of simile with dew, it gives a really vivid image of what you’re describing. and i also love the part where you say this subject owns your body and soul—it’s powerful and personal, really touches in on the making-love-violent aspect of this prompt. in terms of critique, i don’t see anything striking that needs correction at all, but if i had to say something i would maybe say just add more punctuation at the end of your lines when intended. it would make it just a bit easier to read. but overall beautiful! thank u for sharing!
