Twenty-nine years

Minus four

That’s the time I’ve spent

Longing for your love

If I tried to be skinnier

Made myself pretty

Ensured that my “thighs don’t jiggle.”

And my butt was flatter

Read to make me smarter

Don’t drop below a “b”

Kept my mouth shut at home

But when you’re friends come, I appear

Expected to say the words you want

The thoughts you think

Leave them astounded by my maturity

Maybe if I hadn’t dyed my hair purple

Avoided certain friends

Wrote the book about my story

So you could live through me

Perhaps if I cursed less

Or I didn’t smoke

Maybe if I went to college

Or had a better job

If I had never said no

Or had more trophies

You’d have loved me more

I’m sorry I wasn’t what you wanted

But I’m still what you got

I doubt I’ll ever stop yearning

Because you picked me off the lot