Memories are a painful thing to remember Especially ones about you, I still remember your laugh and your smile and The way you made others laugh too But it was all fake, wasn't it? So long I waited for your return Because I believed the lie you told me That you would be my true friend? My childhood died when you shattered My trust when anxiety found a way in When all I wanted was your trust? Life happened again, right? That's why you moved across the country and only decided to show up when things mattered most Not when I needed you, no, because you always said if understand when I'm older or Why you can't come to visit anymore You say it is hard to visit but I don't think You want to deal with the way you left things And when I needed you most, you sent a sheriff to my door, that didn't help did it? You couldn't have called me? Or visited? I'm now terrified of the sheriff and police not because of guilt but because they might do something that would make things worse It's been almost five years since you left But you wouldn't care, I know I stopped caring when things happened maybe I'm being selfish or maybe it's an attachment anxiety But things are different now fate happened When I was too blind trying to chase you God gave me a friend and she fits my personality perfectly We met at a horse back riding barn And if known her for almost three years But tell me why I'm so scared of losing her The way I lost you What if I told her my problems? No, she dosn't deserve to relive that pain I walked through I have a good communication with her But I don't always keep texting her I'm scared I might lose her The way I lost you It's sad isn't the way Things turned out I found a friend I thought You would be and yet I'm scared I'll lose her like I lost you I wish I didn't have to Go through this pain But when I see Olivia My pain goes away slightly We bonded over cats We have a huge passion for horses And dragons She's my other half Just like in how to train your Dragon She's my light fury And I'm her night fury We are close friends And one day I hope she's meets The sister I looked up too