“1….2….3….4…5” I count quietly in my head tapping the table while i study for Mr.Green’s history exam. as I read over my notes, the intrusive number counting remains and my fingers move rhythmically.

“Penelope don’t slouch at the table, people will think you don’t care about yourself.”

I’m snapped out of my bubble and see my sister has joined me at the table. Her brown hair is curled, make up done exactly how mother likes it, and our school uniform is pressed perfectly. She rolls her eyes and eats the yogurt and bananas our mother has set out for her.

“2….4…6…8…good morning …Penelope Tate” I say out-loud hoping to change her mood. She giggles.

“Good morning Jonathan.” She gives me a warm smile and begins texting on her phone.

“John, remember what your teacher said? you count in your head, not in conversation”

“10…12…14…17…sorry mom. I’m trying” I bite my bagel and focus back on the words on the page.

“Why do you do that?” Penelope says under her breathe.

“Do what?”

“Make him feel less than. he’s just expressing himself.”

“Less than, Mathematical symbol to show inequality between values.” I shout out unable to control myself.

“That’s right.” Penelope says smiling but for some reason I see tears. I don’t understand but I smile back.

“He’s not suppose to do that at the table, that’s why we are paying her.”

Penny rolls her eyes and sighs. “you are so quick to try to everyone with money. Did you ever think it’s his way of talking.”

“3…9…15….17…21, uh oh” mommy’s face frowns and starts to get red. Penelope gets up and throws her food away.

“Everybody stares Penelope, and this town is so small. He’s 8, and can hardly function without…”

“I am 8….strong and great” I shout out loud.

Penelope gets up and kisses my head. she takes my headphones out of my bag and hands them to me.

“John go into the living room and wait for dad to come pick you up.” I nod and slide my head phones on, no more sad numbers.

I tap on my tablet and count soundly to myself.

“1….2….3…4….5….” The pictures on the screen explode as I match to the right pictures. soon I can feel footsteps vibrating the floor. I take my head phones off and watch as my sister shoves her school stuff in her bag.

“You know what mom. Everybody judges in this town but no one seems to fucking listen.” She throws on her coat grabs her car keys and slams the door shut.

“Penny!” My mom shouts.

Mommy comes into the room and her face looks broken like a puzzle. she wipes a tear and reaches for my hand.

“Come on, Jonathan daddy will be here soon.”

More sad numbers. “21…25…..39…51….” I say to myself softly.

Mom takes me into the bathroom and fixes my hair. Happy & sad numbers float inside my brain. I don’t really know how to feel right now.

“I’m sorry you heard some of that.”

“….9..11..5..heard what?” I say out loud.

mom shakes her head and says nothing.

A loud horn goes off it must be daddy.

“Okay daddy is here, I pick you up at 3 today. You stay at daddy’s hotel tomorrow.

“Mommy…3…. Daddy 1….2..4…hotel!!” I scream.

We head downstairs and mom opens the Door, there daddy waits in the car. I put my bag in the backseat and sit in my chair. mommy buckles me in kisses my cheek and hands me my tablet. My headphones go on and it’s quiet again.

“Hey kiddo ready for school.”

“22…22…22!!!!!” I scream happily.

Mom sighs.

“Don’t start, he’s trying to say school.” Dad says cold. 11.

Mommy smiles but she’s talking without her lips moving. “He said 22.”

“We’ll just listen to the clues and you’ll figure it out.”

The car starts and daddy starts to drive.”

“…1..3…5.. come home”. I say taking my headphones off. My ears are hot and sweaty.

“I know John, daddy wants to come home too. but tomorrow you me and penny will have a good day okay.”

“2…4…6….8…”

“I know it will be fun.” Dad smiles at me and we drive off to 22.