pressure

metal edge pressing into my skin

my blood is like a currency

ten cuts pays off the shame

my veins are a gold mine

i want to dig until i see my bone

pinch the pad of my thumb

watch it drip down

and pull out a bandaid

red strings cut cross my arms

my wrists

my legs

tying thread

one stitch, two stitches

one cut, two cuts

bloody stains in between my fingernails

pepper coals stinging my wounds

stick that needle in my eye

hope to die

red pooling onto my palm

while I'm sitting on the bathroom floor

ankles sprawled out on the tiles

about to snap in half

embroidered scars

needles or knives or scissors

whatever makes my skin rip apart

crying into my towel

i pretend they're papercuts

i pretend they're blemishes from sewing excuses into my throat

the debt is paid once i bleed enough

(wrote this for my friend who struggles with self harm. So glad they're doing better <3)