I think I need a new therapist.

Had this one for five years,

And it just isn’t cutting it.

Especially now that I’m on some ptsd shit,

And she tried to tell me,

That this person I’m blocking,

Didn’t deserve it?

That’s it too harsh, too mean?

I don’t give a fuck,

I’m doing this for me.

I don’t want these memories.

I won’t want this back in a year or two.

I want to move on from this.

I don’t need to carry it with me,

I already learned my lesson.

I payed my dues.

I overpayed my dues.

I’m not being selfish,

I’m just thinking of myself for once.

I’ve explained it to her again and again.

Brought up the nightmares,

The paranoia,

The anxiety,

My watchfulness.

But she just doesn’t seem to get it.

Said it’s good it happened this young,

Happens to everyone.

But I’m not sure that it does.

I’m not sure that it does.

People will tell me that they know the feeling,

But do they?

Do they?

I don’t know if it happens to everyone.

I’m sorry if it does.

But this doesn’t feel like something I can just up and move on from.

I know that what I went through is deeply fucked up.

So I dont need someone making me feel guilty.

I do that for myself enough already.

And I may not know what I need,

But somewhere down the road,

Someone else will.