STORY STARTER
Write a thriller story in only five sentences.
The lights blink out, and the sound distinctly resembling glass shattering echoes in the darkened chamber. The concrete is cold and dusty, as everything goes silent once again. A shiver up the spine, heavy breaths come quicker and quicker. A door shutting matches the sudden pounding. Is it in the head, the heart, or is it right in front of you?
I love the approach you took to the prompt that creates a descriptive scene and then asks a question at the end that puts the reader into the scene and makes them think. It fits the thriller genre so well as I could really imagine myself there.
One small thing I would try to change is limiting the perspective and making it more vague. Normally more vague is bad, but in this case, you are giving information I feel like we shouldn’t have. For example “the sound of glass bulbs shattering” is very specific and how do I know it is a light bulb? Rather “the sound of glass breaking” is very unsettling… is that a window? A lightbulb? If I can’t see it I don’t know what it is or where it’s coming from… which is scarier to me.
Again, it’s minor stuff. I love flash fiction, and this is a pretty darn good story for only 5 sentences! I love that you used all longer complex sentences to maximize your word count as well. Well done.
oooooo very spooke
