Purgatory. It’s not just a myth. Perhaps those who avoided death to only come back to the human world were right on the money. How remarkable is this experience. However, what they didn’t tell us is that we would be cold hardily judged by those we have loved and hurt the most throughout our lives. Imagining those who had died young and didn’t have a chance to figure out who they wanted to become before they get judged. Figuring the people they hurt the most and lived the most was probably the mother who gave birth. The pain and suffering lingered through to purgatory.

I thought maybe the one I hurt the most was brad in grade 6, hoofing him in the groin as hard as I could during an intense match of king of the hill. Or the girlfriend I told that I didn’t love, having her ignore me for the rest of my life. The person I hurt the most, was the one I loved the most. Myself.

Practicing non judgement according to books I read about mindfulness came in handy. This frame of thought allowed my current state of mind to come to terms with the judgements of myself throughout my life. This is the same for everyone, and stay here until they realize it. Non attachment is he key to the door past purgatory.

Although life feels like it passes by, what we choose to remember and what had actually happened was grossly misrepresented. Life happens so fast, our memories tuck away. Watching my life like a reel in a video camera in real time felt like forever. I thought it would never end. The people I helped, hurt, loved, hated, cursed out, let take advantage of me, compiled into a session of weighing which one mattered the most. Our perception is a socially accepted, determined reality that can change with influence. I knew that the way I lived and behaved allowed my entrance to the next step.

Logically humans think how they see the environment work. Everything must have logic, because of the world we live in. Because of Newton’s laws. Because of the law of matter. Because of gravity and our DNA. Purgatory and the next step doesn’t work logically.

The next step was impossible to explain to another human. It must be experienced.