Two ships passing in the night
The passion that sets souls alight
Who said what when liquid tongues
And labored lungs sung delight
My waters your muse
You glide so enthused
Riding my waves
Plundering the depths of caves
Away we float together
Attempting to rock the boat forever
Alone at sea
Just you and me
In this salacious moment
The sweetest taboo torment
Drifting away, you pass
Leaving memories made to last
The metaphor of two ships passing in the night, driven by passion, is pretty cool. It creates a vivid image of a fleeting connection.
The wordplay with “liquid tongues” and “labored lungs” is nice, and it adds a sense of intensity to the poem.
I like the idea of riding waves together, attempting to rock the boat forever, but then the realization that it's a fleeting moment. That part has a touch of bittersweetness…
Overall, it's a unique take on the boat metaphor, and it definitely leaves an impression. Keep on writing! 🚢
