I look at him. The man in front of me. The love of my life. The man I fell in love with him. He looks at me fighting the tears in his eyes as he looks at me. My decision already made. I have to go. This between is over. This cycle of constant hurt and anger. It’s suffocating. It’s not healthy.

He cupped my face pulling me towards him,”I’ll change. I’ll change I promise.” I inhaled a shaky breath and shook my head slightly. He has said this before. I’ve heard all his empty promises. Everyone he broke. He won’t change. He’s scared. He sees that in serious. That I am placing my foot down. It’s over and I think that realization terrfies him.

The truth is he isn’t scared of losing me. He never has. He’s scared of being alone. He’s scared not having someone cleaning up after him. I can’t do it anymore. I need to put myself first. Although it hurts and truth is I want to run in his arms and have him embrace me. Feel his warmth. Try to feel all the emotions that were once there. However, I’ll just be lying to myself. We are two complete different people now. Nothing compared to the two people who fell in love in the beginning.

“This is the end,” I whispered. Pulling out of his grasp I turn around to leave. I don’t dare look him in the eye. If I did I feared I would run back to him. That I wouldn’t stand my ground. Truth is I love him. I think I’ll always will. Tho weight on my chest. My heart breaking into pieces. It’s not for nothing. I loved that man but it didn’t work. We don’t work and I have to finally do something I haven’t done in a while.

I have to put myself first.