Only in hindsight do I see the chain of events

The temptation was there

They say it isn’t as bad this way, I can have my vice and feel good about it.

What you said changed my tune, I didn’t talk to you all day. You made me feel what I was trying to push away. Its crazy what you can believe when you are hearing what you want them to say.

The descriptions you used made me know i was still hurting myself,self harm in a socially acceptable way.

I still think back to that day. Still feel the dread of knowing I had hurt you.

I’m an adult and its my choice how I live my life,who are you to walk in and dictate what i do?

I’m asking you.

I don’t know when to stop,not my strong point,when I hold back i become nothing, I am no one.

My vice made me feel like I’m someone.

heavy in my lungs,chill in my heart,

I only had good intentions but looking after me is still something I am learning to do.